Some Muh-futtin Rap Songs

This man will turn your face into $50,000

The Boy Boy Young Mess "Don't You Think I'm Handsome?"

If you haven't listened to the Bay Area's best-named mixtape this year, Prices on My Head, Thug Money on Ya Family Vol 1 yet, you should reconsider. I always assume Messy is gonna come washed-up, considering all the shit he's put himself through these last few years, but he's always fucking great to listen to. He hasn't changed a goddam thing since Disobayish, and I mean that in a good way. I wonder if he even writes new rhymes anymore.

This one samples Gucci Mane's lyrics from "Freaky Girl" on the hook, and in true Bay Area mixtape hustling fashion, Mess credits Gucci Mane with a feature. Ha! I thought Cellski was the last one to get away with that move. Though, last time I was in SF, at Rasputin's, I think I remember that PoMH,TMoYF was the top seller. It's kinda beautiful that Bay Area rappers can intentionally hustle their listeners and still have a loyal following.

The Boy Boy Young Mess "My Charm, My Chain"

Many rappers have claimed that women only have sex with them for their material wealth, and have even gone as far as to say that women are actually, in a sense, having sex with inanimate objects when they have sex with said rapper (see "Fuck My Car" by Too Short, or "Fuck My Car" by UGK for examples of this phenomenon). Messy goes as far as to say that women actually call his phone asking to speak with his chain on this track. Also, he claims that some women forget to put a condom on his chain when they have sex with it. This is troublesome in a few regards. Is he talking about himself? Is he talking about the chain? Sounds like he's in a messy situation - so to speak! - either way. No matter your interpretation, Messy manages to make it OK to refer to his jewelry as a "charm", which you really have to respect.

New Boyz "Colors"

This song is fun, but at the same time, it says so much about the downfall of hip-hop as an artform (am I getting old?) that it has to kinda make you sad. It's not a cover of Ice-T's "Colors", but they reference it heavily in the hook. However, instead of making a song about the horrors of gang warfare in Los Angeles, the New Boyz rap about how they wear a whole lot of different colors - colors they claim aren't even in the visible spectrum - when they dance in their cul-de-sac. Ice-T's rap career is spinning in its grave, I'm certain.

Philthy Rich "Funk or Die"

This, I assume is the eponymous track off of Philthy's newest album. "Funk or Die", to me, seems a bit confused. Doesn't funk lead to death? Still, Philthy Rich, keeps it really gully here, and his album sounds like it's shaping up to be pretty good.

Roach Gigz "Watch Me Gas (Remastered)"

Roach emailed me a little while back to have me take down the older version of "Watch Me Gas" I had posted. He said it was hella poorly mastered and he had a new version with some new lyrics, and better mixing. He was kind enough to hook it up here.

Mistah FAB "2010 Til Infinity"

Mistah FAB really is better at being a backpack rapper. Why didn't he make this song in 2003 (or wait until 2010?)? Was he too busy trying to bridge the unbridgeable gap between backpack rap and Hyphy? Whoops!

Don't Worry!

Husalah is alive and well. This is a picture of him with some dude named Gary Archer (who kinda looks like Krondon, but actually white).

Starting on Saturday, there was a rumor circulating around the 'nets, as well as text messages, that Husalah had been stabbed six times in the head, and had died in jail. This could not be further from the truth. In fact, according to NoT friend Floyd (of Anti-Labs) he was recently released from prison, and is now at a halfway house in the Sacto area.

So, in case you're still curious, now you know. Maybe you never knew. Lucky you. Now, let's get back to worrying about when he's putting out an ALBUM, and drop Husalah-related rumors. And I mean all of them!

Here's the only Hus song I could think of that has any MJ going on in it. Seemed appropriate. It's also one of my favorite Husalah tracks that people rarely mention. He definitely gets his Poetry Student flow going on this one with all that talk about the breeze in the hood being his homey's last breath, but it actually works. Give this one a listen if you haven't.

Husalah "Rainman"

Husalah, as it turns out, is OK. Let's be glad.

UPDATE: Husalah took the time out to speak with VladTV. Looks like he doesn't go far from that shitty looking fourplex, which I assume is the halfway home. Watch:

Whoa

That came out of nowhere.

Michael Jackson "Billie Jean (Chopped & Screwed)"

I always thought that "Billie Jean" sounded better slowed down. Something about the uptempo version just doesn't make sense once you've heard it slowed and thowed. The subject matter is actually dark and heavy shit that just doesn't sound right over a dancey beat - except, of course, the parts about dancing. Check out the slowed version. Rest in Peace to the man.

Does Seminary Go Ham?

Or, more importantly, would we want East Oakland to go as ham as Atlanta appears to go? I raise the question, because Philthy Rich's latest video "Dope Boy" came out the same week as this video, "Trap Goin Ham" by a rapper named Pill (hey!), that has managed to really get the attention/scare the shit out of a whole lot of music bloggers. See for yourself:



Compare that with Philthy's newest video:



Now, I'm not saying Pill made a better video. He certainly didn't have Mitchy Slick in his video (side note: Mitchy appears to be having trouble adjusting to the Bay Area climate. What is up with that crewneck?). But, they did, more or less, make the same video. And Pill's is far more shocking; by comparison Philthy's is kinda boring. Even his dopefiends are less convincing.

But, this brings me back to what makes me most uncomfortable about Pill's video. It is a well-produced piece of work; this isn't some flip-cam nonsense. So, when you see some fat, old alcoholic woman dancing around like a fool, you know she didn't just walk on set, she was most likely invited on set, and encouraged to act like an idiot. I'm not trying to suggest that Atlanta doesn't go that ham, I'm just saying that it's no coincidence it was going so ham when the cameras were rolling. And, further, that Pill more or less humiliated a bunch of elderly addicts in order to benefit his career, which is essentially what the whole enterprise of drug dealing consists of anyway. Guess the rap game is a lot like the crack game, after all.

Philthy showed greater restraint, but he was also limited - as I have pointed out numerous times - by the higher quality of Oakland's housing stock. Sorry, West Coast rappers, you probably can't make a video this shocking. I guess that's the price we pay for being able to speak English with virtually no accent. Sorry, South. You are hard to understand sometimes.

Video: Lil B "Oprah Winfrey"

Lil B's latest song is downright amazing. He jacks Hurricane Chris' "Halle Berry" beat, and makes it about the real dream woman: the richest woman alive. Also, a woman with an influential book club, of which Lil B claims to be a member.

Not only is the rap hilarious, B accompanies it with a slideshow of all the young ass broads who send him semi-nude pics of themselves with his name written on their body (making this quite NSFW, by the way). The irony here is that I am sure Oprah has had a show - or two! - about the perils of "sexting" with mother's horror stories and the whole nine. Here, by broadcasting these semi-private photos (but not really THAT private, considering they make up the bulk of his main Myspace page) all over the 'nets, Lil B makes Oprah and Co's worst fearmongering about "sexting" come true. Brilliant!

Also, here's more evidence that Lil B's bizarre experiment is over, and that he's moving back into Coherent Rap territory, having expanded his mind with those hundreds of Myspace pages.

PS - Check out my Muxtape, hosted by Anti-Labs. I will try to update this thing weekly. Here's my first mix.

Recent Bay Classic: Mob Figaz and Nick Peace Mob Trial

Look at how off-brand this fucking album cover looks. What a joke! Why is Husalah's head bandaged? Nick Peace still produces beats? Those were the thoughts that I had when my older brother Adam (better known to you guys as "big brother") gave me this CD - along with C-Bo's Tales From the Crypt! - for Christmas a few years back.

Boy was I wrong. This album, without really trying to be anything special, is probably one of the best Bay Area albums to come out in recent memory. It occurred to me today that I've never written about the album, nor have I even seen anything written about it, despite how much people write about rap music on The Internet. Maybe if it was called Asher Roth and J. Cole and Drake and Mickey Factz and Cory Gunz and Charles Hamilton and Eskay Present Mob Trial it would have gotten better coverage. Then again, none of those guys (Eskay excluded) were even around a whole two and a half years ago. In another two years, they'll probably be on Nah Right Records, a subdivision of Warner Music Group, where they'll get paid 30 cents a click, or some shit. But I digress.

Why is this album so good? I, for one, think that this album shows what good independent artists are capable of when their albums are more curated, and they aren't a clusterfuck of throwaway verses, recycled verses, and features from bum-ass rappers who you owe a favor to. This album succeeds by giving each Husalah, Jacka and AP.9 (who, despite being a 'lesser' Mob Figa, kills it on this record) a chance to do a few songs entirely solo, instead of with Lee Majors. Or even each other. And, the production is from a seasoned Bay Area producer who never made a Hyphy record, to my knowledge. Aside from this album, Nick Peace has had - to my knowledge - nothing to do with Bay Area rap since Hell's Kitchen came out. That album has Saafir on it. Think about that.

AP.9, Husalah, Jacka "Going 4 Blood"

Classic Nick Peace production on the second track, here. Is that a harp and a synth? Does it sound like you're playing Zelda? Then it's probably Nick Peace. But it makes a nice accompaniment to the hook, where the Mob Figaz flip of LL Cool J's opening lines to "I Need Love":

"When I'm alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall/
and in the back of my mind I can hear my rifle call"

I am all for sick gallows humor on rap records, and this album has no shortage of creepy shit, including the titles to the songs.

AP.9 "A Friend of Ours"

AP.9 "Mob Hit"

The rest of the album has AP.9 rapping over crazy bass-heavy, high-BPM bangers, and are some of the more Hyphy-influenced tracks on the album. Still, this production suits AP.9's less lyrical, less religious, less introspective style of rapping much better than the softer Zelda-sounding stuff on this album. The production on "A Friend of Ours" could practically be a Ratatat song. And AP.9 manages to ride them perfectly [||].

Jacka "A Gangsta's Gangsta"

Jacka "Thrones and Crowns"

Again, is that a harp on "Thrones and Crowns"? But what production could better suit a rap song about regretting becoming a rapper? It's really interesting to hear a rapper talk about rap a just another gig, without getting into how selling tapes and selling drugs is really the same thing. It isn't. Of course "Thrones and Crowns" does turn into a somewhat standard gangster rap song towards the end, but there's always that Conflicted Muslim side of Jacka that comes out that makes it all OK.

"A Gangsta's Gansta" is just pure California driving music. I think part of the reason I never posted this music was because this CD never left my car when I lived in San Diego. Also, Mike Motherfucking Marshall is on the hook, so you can ignore the fruitiness of the title. This shit goes.

Husalah "Murder on My Mind"

Husalah "Ways and Means (This is Dope)"

Husalah "Sleep With the Fishes (Boom Clack)"

And finally we get to the three highlights of the album, the Husalah tracks. Hustlin Since the 80's and Dope, Guns, and Religion were both solid albums, but if I were stuck on a desert island, I would rather have these three songs than either of those albums. Maybe not.

"Murder on my Mind" and "Ways and Means" have the same approach to gangster rap that I haven't heard much of since the Geto Boys. The approach is this: I am rapping about killing people over the pettiest things; I must be clinically insane, or a monster. It's rare these days to hear rappers get into the psychology of how sick most of the subject matter is in rap music. He never gets Bushwick Bill-level crazy on the mic, but he says some weird shit.

"I'm not in my right mind, turn animal at nighttime/
fangs grow out my mouth; rifles come out the house/
your life is about your spouse; mine is about the block/
soon as the pipe come out, I'ma just light your knot/
I Shock G's, so you can "Do Whatcha Like"/
go toe-to-toe, but know I bring the pump to fights/
I'll hump your wife, crush your life, fuck I'm nice!/
Emperor Hu-Sellasie-ah, or just Husalah Christ"

The production on "Sleep With the Fishes" is truly next level. I consider it to be meta-production. Postmodernist production. The bassline is the sound of a trunk rattling, and a dude saying "Boom Clack", imitating the bassline that already makes reference to the experience of listening to rap music in your car. Also, this is Hus at his most charismatic. Tons of stolen Too Short lines, and tons of misogyny. His adlibbed speech at the end about how you don't want to be like him - even though he knows you do - is brilliant: "You could be a doctor. You could be a lawyer. Something like that. You don't wanna be no kingpin dope dealer man, getting money man, knockin bitches, candy painted cars."

Anyway, there's my summary of what makes this album a classic for those who haven't heard it. It's hard for me to write about music I really actually like, so bear [||] with me [||]. I'm still waiting on my package of Jacka goods. I hope they actually send it! After that, I will contact the winners of the contest.

Jacka Tear Gas Giveaway

So I have 5 CDs and 5 posters to give away here, courtesy of the fine people at Stratus Digital Music Marketing. I'm gonna give away a poster AND CD to the first five winners, because I discovered from the fine people at Stratus Digital Music Marketing that I am, in fact, paying for the postage on the return trip. I figured it would be that way, but I'm not trying to send out 10 packages. Have you ever been to the Post Office in Bushwick, Brooklyn? It is a uniquely unpleasant experience. Shit, even in Midtown, some old Chinese lady totally cut me in line by pretending to look at the insurance forms, then jumping into line directly in front of me. I was her mark; she was an old Chinese lady. There was nothing I could do. But I digress.

I decided that a quiz would be the best way to settle this. The fine people at Stratus Digital Music Marketing even offered to have The Jack answer some of my questions, but the only one I could think of was this: My favorite track off of Tear Gas is "Get Ya Top Cooked", what do you think is The Jacka's favorite thing to cook, aside from your top?

And, needless to say, I didn't really feel like troubling The Jacka with my snarky bullshit. He's probably pretty busy right now. So, feel free to answer that as a bonus, and maybe we can get something from The Jacka (maybe even a recipe? I am actually talking about food here) to settle the debate. Here is the actual trivia contest:

THE JACKA TEAR GAS GIVEAWAY QUIZ

1. Pittsburg, CA is actually named for Pittsburgh, PA. Why?

2. Jacka talked about this album a lot before it came out, but it had a different working title. What is it? (Hint: There is a track on the album with the working title)

3. On one of his finest songs, "Never Blink", Jacka raps "got the eyes of a snake, never blink, never cry". Why is it that snakes cannot blink?

4. Husalah makes a cameo in the video for "Never Blink". What does his shirt say?

5. Name three (3) Jacka songs with the word "girl" in the title. Remixes don't count.

6. In the video for "Barney (More Crime)/Feel This Clip", we see a creatively modded steering wheel. What unlikely car accessory has replaced the steering wheel in question?

Alright, that's that. Email your responses to nationofthizz [at] gmail [dot] com ASAPalously to try and win a free copy of Tear Gas along with an autographed poster. First five win, so be quick. This isn't the crossword; I don't care if you Google the answer.

Also, if you don't win, remember that you can buy the album today! Cheah!

That Huberok Reports from the Tear Gas Listening Party

I take and be too took; my homies is took, too

Because I live in New York and not The Bay Area, I was at once thrilled and disappointed to be invited to the Tear Gas listening party. I finally get invited to one of those industry things, and I live on the wrong side of the country. Fortunately, I was able to get long-time friend, former contributor on this blog (though he never contributed anything until now), and editor of the criminally under-updated Bots, Bongs, and Baytin', That Huberok - along with his tiny, but sassy girlfriend - to attend the listening party in my stead. Here is his report:

I don’t know what I was expecting at the Tear Gas listening party. Maybe I do. Lots of women and marijuana smoking. In actuality, the ratio of women to men was similar to my own social circle which is roughly 5 dudes to 1 girl. This was fine by me (no homo) as I was attending the exclusive event with my small girlfriend. It became quite clear early on that weed smoking would not be tolerated as apparently The Room is an official “No Weed Zone.” I did find it a little strange that The Jacka would choose to have his party somewhere that apparently despised weed so much, but he is successful and I am not; So, I'm going to assume he knows what he is doing.

As I waited for The Jack to arrive I helped myself to some of the delicious chicken available to me for eating purposes, free of charge. I assumed that free chicken meant free drinks at the bar. Not so. As my small girlfriend and I shared my seven dollar whiskey ginger ale, we waited for the person we were really there for; CELLSKI. With my drink gone and ice between my teeth, I kept my eyes focused on the doorway for my second all time favorite rapper from Randolph Street to arrive. So many questions rushed through my head. Will Cellski come to this? Him and Jacka did a song together on Mr. Predictor 2. Does Cellski have a prior engagement which would make it impossible for him to attend tonight’s function? What did Cellski eat today? Does Cellski like Mr. Predictor as much as I do? Does Cellski ever eat at Tu Lan? If Cellski were a cigarette what kind would he be?

Then it happened. I elbowed my small girlfriend in the side. ”Look,” I said. Big Mafi himself walked down the stairs. Epic. Anyway, I got a picture with him on my disposable camera [Ed Note: He didn't email me the pic, but I found it on his flickr, penny and all].

Shortly after this the actual listening of Tear Gas began. Jacka is a very funny man. After accusing Cellski of having eaten twelve sandwiches that day, he started playing snippets of each song on the album. In between songs he would make fun of his friends. He accused everyone of spending all their money on coke and meth when they should be spending it on his albums. Although I don’t do coke or meth (yet) I might have to cut back on my weed habit a little bit because Tear Gas will be purchased by me, as it is fucking awesome. If you like the Nickatina single (and I do) you will love the rest of the album even more. Because they had to be done my ten we didn’t get to listen to the whole album. Then Jacka spilled a drink in the DJ booth all over a mixer which prompted the bartender to start yelling about how Jacka just ruined his $5,000 mixer and he didn’t care if it was his party. This was the same guy who declared the venue a no weed zone. Jacka, being the gentlemen he is, seemed quite apologetic. What a blast! Do yourself a favor and go by an awesome album free of gimmicks and remind yourself what good Bay Area rap music sounds like.

Tear Gas drops tomorrow. I think I have five copies to give away. So, we will be doing some sort of giveaway here. Stay posted.

Video: San Quinn "Double Dose of Gangsta"

I had no idea this video existed. I can't tell if it's intentionally corny looking or not. Also, I don't know how Chops turned a producer credit into a guest appearance and music video cameo, but it's pretty creepy.

Anyway, if you watch this to the end, it turns into a trailer for an autobiographical documentary about San Quinn that largely focuses on his cocaine addiction, it seems. I didn't realize that "Ayo" was so autobiographical. Anyway, the movie drops on June 16th, same day as Tear Gas.

E-40 Does Screamo?

brokeNCYDE - Booty Call Feat. E-40


For those unfamiliar, BrokeNCYDE are the young men from Albuquerque (as they call it "Albecrazy", I believe) who are responsible for the worst song and music video of last year, if not all time, "Freaxxx". I highly recommend reading this LA Times blog that attempts to sort out what we can gain, if anything, from the song and video's existence. One of the more interesting details from the article is that BrokeNCYDE, aside from being Hot Topic fruitcakes, are straightedge. They claim that the 40 they are seen holding in the video is full of apple juice, not malt liquor. Fucking freaky is right.

To make a clunky transition, what do we think the 40 in the video for "Booty Call" is full of? Codeine? Money? What could possibly have motivated Our Beloved E-40 to have made such a piss poor decision? I mean, it's not like he's made long-time E-40 fans very happy in recent years, but about half of Ball Street Journal was pretty damn good. Half of it was pop-Rap nonsense, but T-Pain is a corny R&B singer, not a Screamo band from New Mexico that makes you sympathize with terrorists and Republicans (though something tells me at least half of BrokeNCYDE is actually Republican) and any other group of people who just want to get back to Traditional Family Values.

Now E-40 is not scared of non-traditional guest appearances. Recall that he raps as Carlos Santana on "Santana DVX". Even though I'm positive Mr. Carlo Rossi - whose picture is my small bedroom's lone decoration - is spinning in his grave as a result, the guest verse was good. And funny. And, don't forget that Andy Samberg is from Berkeley. More importantly, though, The Lonely Island are funny because they are comedians not because they made the worst music video in the history of the medium.

Some might also point out - including Earl Stephens himself on Grit and Grind - that 40 (along with Eightball) "did a song with Fred Durst". It's true. Somewhere out there exists a remix of "Take a Look Around" with a verse from E-40. I have never actually heard it, nor could I find one anywhere. Still, no matter how much we make fun of our 6th grade selves for listening to Limp Bizkit, they still weren't as bad in their own time as BrokeNCYDE. I mean, they were bad, but people listened unironically to Limp, and it seems - like other corny American rock bands - that they still have a healthy following in Eastern Europe. I mean, some people thought they rocked. Last time I heard "Nookie" is drunk as fuck, and had a great time. So, no love lost there for E-40.

BrokeNCYDE only has a following because people on the internet like to watch stupid shit to get them through their boring job or life or whatever. It would have been better had he recorded a song with Rick Astley. Or Eli Porter. This is massively embarrassing, and I think he should renounce his pop star aspirations after fucking up so badly. Or he should start making songs with the Keyboard Cat.

Thanks to @misterwheeler for the tip.