Scraper Bikes: A YouTube Success Story

That's right, the final cut is out! It's interesting to see like, what the dudes are wearing. For instance, we can see that the dude with the second verse (Alexander the Grate?) is a real white tee fanatic. He seems to wear nothing else. On the other hand, the dude with the third verse, and the composition book fitted (B-Janky, I think), he has swag. He's an all-over printy type of dude, and it works for him. As far as the dude with the first verse (Young Champ, the inventor of the scraper bike) is concerned, I don't know if the mesh hat deal really goes. I'm just being honest here.

I think where this new cut really messes up is that they don't have much of the dude with the A's hat and all the gigs. The song is great, but that dude really tied the video together for me. Unfortunately, his on-screen time is probably slashed in half for the new cut (if not more!). If I were him, I would be really pissed. He should start a solo career just doing turf dancing videos. I need someone to fill the void that Turfapino left, after I ended his career.

Also, I was impressed with the wide array of colors that their scraper bikes come in. Interestingly enough, these appear to be real DIY jobs. They create the illusion of having rims with a sort of baseball-card-in-the-spokes-type of job. I haven't totally figured it out, but no fear! The Trunk Boiz are so generous that they're putting out a DVD titled "How to Make a Scraper Bike".

If you're too lazy to build one on your own, Young Champ is selling them on his myspace. I do happen to be in the market for a new bike given certain San Diego transportation issues, and I would be a liar if I said I wasn't tempted. Considering that I was one of few bloggers that helped launch the Trunk Boiz to internet celebrity-status ("Scraper Bikes" was featured on the "front page" of YouTube. More on this later), perhaps Young Champ could give me the joog on a bike or two. I'll let him get back to me on that one.

Anyway, the original version of the video has something like 720,000 views as of press time. Naturally, YouTube losers have made their own responses. They range from unintentionally hilarious...



...to quasi-ghey...



...to stuff that makes me really embarrassed to be a skater from San Francisco.



The rest of them are really pretty racist, and we don't really have time for that here at the Nation. If you want to find them you can do that on your own time. Right now, I want to get into some slaps.

The Champions "We Fucks Wit It"

The Oakland-bred duo of Double (?) and Tre Flip flip a weird rock riff on this one. They sound like they're having a blast on this record. They also sound like they couldn't be a day over 17. I'm convinced the guitar sample is from some famous song, but I can't place it. Stax disagrees. He thinks that I'm mixing it up with "My Sharona" or some shit. If anyone can end this debate, I would really appreciate it.

Haji Springer "Haji Inferno"

Ah yes! Haji put out a new album already! It's called The Hyphy Indian Rapper Stackin' Rupees. Why not? Also, Haji will be performing live at the Elbo Room on Saturday night. Beeda Weeda is opening, and your boy will be in attendance, as long as I get off work in a timely fashion. If anyone wants to join me, I will be pregaming on BART from Powell to 16th at around 11:30ish if all goes according to plan.

Husalah, Andre Nickatina, Jacka "Zestways (Remix)"

Damn! Hus just loves to have fun! Who could blame him? That's what it's all about, right?

Team Knoc "Another Dumb Song"

Sirealz, of Team Knoc fame, claims that this is the last dumb song, ever. He failed in that goal, but he succeeded in making quite the slapper. If you love the Beastie Boys, you should love this one; it's just Sirealz over the "Paul Revere" beat. "Leg warmers on, but you know I ain't gay"?

Finally!

Now, you just gotta wonder - where's the video for "Bass Chasers"?

25 Gheyest Song Titles

Hey there! I'm back in the blogging saddle. Pilly's been talking shit for a while about my long absence, but the fact is that I have standards. My room is literally littered with discarded post ideas. I wouldn't want to post some bullshit, like youtube videos of bald girls talking about their favorite Indian rappers. I need to come with quality material--after all, I did start this blog!

Anyway, I thought that the best way to restart my stalled blogging career would be to relive the glory days. Dedicated readers may remember my list of songs about pooping from last summer. Yeah, it was pretty great. So I'm gonna give you guys another list today.

If you have ever been drinking with me, you may be familiar with my tendency to go on really long rants about how teh ghey rap music is. Or, at least, how many prominent rappers are secretly gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I love hip-hop, I just think its kinda gay sometimes. It is pretty funny that the most "heteronormative" (forgive the undergrad gender studies vocab) music genre in the history of mankind can be so homoerotic. See these song titles for evidence (in no particular order):

1) N****s Like Us - 8ball & MJG
2) Who Need a "B" - Bun B (dudes only at Bun B's house)
3) Fuckin Wit D - DMX (DMX is always number one on my secretly gay rappers lists. The most homophobic ones are the most suspicious. Word to Ted Haggard)
4) Thuggish Ruggish Bone - Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
5) Rockafella - Redman (Thanks to Nas for inspiring this one)
6) Sucka N**** - A Tribe Called Quest (a less "heteronormative" artist, and thus less amusing, but still)
Some old school gheyness:
7) Jingling Baby (Remixed But Still Jingling) - LL Cool J (jingaling, jingaling)
8) Get the Bozack - EPMD
9) No Nuts No Glory - Geto Boys (Wow, they really loved balls back then)
10) It's Too Hard to Swallow - UGK (roflcopter)
11) Wild Ass West - IMP (I wanted to avoid San Francisco jokes in this post, so I kind of did)
I tried to avoid songs that are obviously about women for this post (you can take any come-on and think its sounds ghey if you think about dudes), but I could not resist with these ones:
12) Addicted to the Dick - Cold World Hustlers
13) I Wanna Be Yo Ho - AMG
14) Love Dat Donkey - Mac Dre ("You gotta have that donkey in ya coooooock")
More Bay Area gheyness:
15) Where's My Daddy - Mistah F.A.B. (You should contact Baby, he might be interested in being your daddy)
16) Ballaholic - E-40 (In BA with the Cold World Hustlers)
17) A Gangsta's Gangsta - The Jacka
Just plain ghey:
18) It's So Hard - Big Punisher
19) Partners For Life - P Diddy featuring Jamie Foxx (another one that is clearly for the ladies, but the artist listing is what makes this song title great)
20) Hard Wit No Ho - KMD
21) I'm a D Boy - Lil Wayne
22) Boy Looka Here - Rich Boy
And finally, some songs commenting on the hypocritical sexual politics of hip-hop, which is obviously the gheyest genre out there:
23) I'm Straight - T.I. (methinks the rapper doth protest too much)
24) Down Low - Lil Wayne (Lil Wayne does a song of the "Top Back" beat and just happens to choose these two words from the hook as the new title)
25) Don't Get Caught - Young Jeezy (the best advice for all those rapper-slash-"dboys" of the world)


So I might actually post some of these songs in the near future, but right now I have better things to do. In the meantime, feel free to think of your own, and put them up in the comments.

Mistah FAB at UCSD

Wish I was there! Usually rappers get pissed off at UCSD crowds for being really lame (Redman and Busta Rhymes, for example). This seemed a little different. Damn.

A Cheap Shot at Bay Area Rap?

I know cheap shots when I see them. Check out this new Strong Arm Steady/Talib Kweli video. Pay extra special attention to what happens at the beginning of Talib's verse, about 1:50 into the video.



What do you think? I think Talib Kweli and whoever edited that video are a bunch of punks.

Anyway, I think the song sucks, and shit like this will only lead to creative differences between Mitchy Slick and the rest of the group. Could you picture him on an anti-violence record?

Mitchy Slick, Messy Marv "From Diego to the Bay"

Shouts out to Da Dookie Monster over at Yay Mecca for this one. It should be on Messy Slick (which should be called Mitchy Marv), if it ever comes out. If you didn't already guess it, this song samples Dr. Dre's voice from "California Love".

So why is Mitchy saying it's all good from Diego to the Bay, if his increasingly backpackerish buddies in LA are being punks? Mitchy needs to drop the SAS gang. They're soft. Mess is all he needs.

For You Dumb Motherfuckers

If you don't like IMP, stop reading here, and never read this blog again, cause you probably suck (like my brothers, the last post by either of them - it just so happened to be big brother - was on March 28th!). If you do like IMP - which you should if you're even reading this sentence - then you're in luck, because I have more rare IMP tracks. In fact, I might have the whole goddam catalog. These two are off of the 1989 EP entitled No Prisoners.

IMP "Bass Kick"

C-Fresh rips this George Clinton sample. But then again, does C-Fresh ever not rip a beat? The answer is that no, C-Fresh always rips a beat.

Just makes me wanna sing, "We love you, rapper C-Fresh. Your funk is the best!"

IMP "For You Dumb Motherfuckers"

C-Fresh again! This one probably goes harder. I'm not really in the mood for writing right now. But - I just have to mention this - C-Fresh totally sampled that voice saying "dumb" way before E-40 did on "Tell Me When to Go". So, take that.

It's time for me to go now, but I'll be back soon enough. Who wants to put a bet down on when one of my brothers are gonna post again? My guesses: big brother will never post again, and Stax will post within the next week. I have inside info, of course, but if anyone else has any guesses, throw em in the comments section.

Because Fixies Suck

Shouts out to my dude Ninoy Brown over at Fobb Deep for this one.



There are a few things I need to point out in this video:

-The tricycle scraper bike has a basket in the back that says "That Go". Truer words have never been written on a bicycle.

-The last dude who raps is wearing a fitted hat with a composition book print, and even a composition book label on the front. If anyone knows where to get such a brilliant fitted, please let me know in the comments section.

-In true Oakland fashion, these kids really don't pay much attention to surrounding traffic.

-Does anyone have an mp3 of this?

Edit: Someone hooked up a lank! Trunk Boiz "Scraper Bike"

Anyway, I got curious, so I checked Craigslist. Sure enough, there's a scraper bike for sale that sounds suspiciously similar to the first bike featured in the video. Though I didn't notice the "color changing fog lights...that change colors" in the video. Maybe the kids are more concerned about safety that I thought.

At least more concerned than fixie riders. God, fuck these people. Oh wow, really, you don't have brakes? Could you explain just how difficult fixie-riding is to me just one more time? Guess what, blade? My skateboard doesn't have brakes either. Get a bar.

Also, one last anecdote, to explain why people who ride fixies suck. I was at this party, with lots of kids from a certain Bay Area art school (first mistake). I overheard these kids talking about bikes. I heard this one guy say - I swear - "Man, that guy is such a fixie-poser". He may have gone on to explain that "that guy" probably rode a single-speed or some shit. Whatever. I had just about enough Bud Ice in my system to interject and say something like "Yeah, dude, man I totally hate fixie-posers, too. They're totally weak". Perhaps he picked up on the sarcasm in my voice; perhaps he didn't. Either way, everyone fell silent, and he told me to see my way out of the conversation, which I did. Quickly. Because people who ride fixies suck. And perhaps I had made a fool of myself.


The Pack "Ride My Bike"

The Cataracs, The Pack, Young Gaita "Blueberry Afghani (Remix)"

I found out that The Cataracs are white, and might go to SF State. Or something. I found this somehow disappointing. Anyone else? Nice remix here, but because it's slowed down, it just isn't quite as exciting as the original. Which, for the record, was hella exciting.

The Champions "Hyphyville"

Hyphyville - is it a real place, or a state of mind (a la Planet Zero)? It could be, literally, Oakland. Or it could be, you know, wherever the music is, or some shit. Anyway, one of the dudes in this group is named Tre Flip. He skates, too. I'm down. This song is dumb as fuck.

The Federation "College Girl"

It's basically "Freaky Tales", but they throw in some college names. UC Riverside, UC Davis, and UC Berkeley all get name-checked. At first, I was like, "Hey. No UCSD love?" Then, I remembered what UCSD is actually like. Enjoy that fucking Mistah FAB/Andre Nickatina concert, by the way, my Triton dudes. I'm way jealous, but I'm dealing with it by realizing that hella latent-homosexual PIKE dudes are gonna ruin it for everyone. Right?

The Most Sinister Song of the Year, So Far

See, I was kinda let down by so many recent Bay releases, and by Turf Talk's latest guest appearances that I wasn't even excited about his album coming out. I feel really bad about feeling that way, because Turf's new album is sick as fuck. Anyway, this song might be the most sinister song I've heard in a minute.

Turf Talk "Broke N---as"

The hook has Pac's voice sampled in a loop, kinda Texas style, but not screwed, just chopped. Anyway, Turf kinda whispers the whole rap, but not like how the Ying Yang Twinz whisper. It's not creepy and kinda ghey (which Ying Yang was). Turf has the most sinister whisper-rap known to man. This is definitely one to throw on the iPod when you're walking home late at night, halfway took. Trust me.

Turf Talk, Freeway "Minnie Minnie"

Unlike his mentor, E-40, Turf Talk does not pick his guest appearances based on their popularity at any given moment; his one really random guest spot goes to Freeway, who is sick as fuck, but really underrated. E-40, on the other hand, put Mike fucking Jones on his album. Think about that. If only Bay Area rappers who are way underrated could get this type of love from other regions...

Turf Talk "Bring the Base Back"

Fucking tremendo knock. If you have a good system, go wake your neighbors up with this one. And go support Turf Talk, and buy his album. He promised a good album and he came through. That doesn't sound that special, but these days it really is.

By the way, shouts out to wonderbread06 for hooking up the album. Good look!