Go Go Power Ranger Boyz "Go Dumb in Safeway"
Part of me wants to think that this is just a joke, but deep down I know that's not the case. They don't only go dumb at Safeway, they also go dumb at Wal-Mart, Pak'N'Save, Albertson's, and Lucky's (which I thought was bought out by Albertson's years back). Maybe they go so dumb that they bring Lucky's back into existence. Who knows.
I don't even know if it's fair to hold this up to the same standards you might hold a real song up to. There's really only one verse; the second verse sounds more like some nervous white dude doing "Bust a Move" on karaoke than anything that resembles rap.
Because that song is bad enough to ruin your day, allow me to kick you down a song or two that just might make your day:
Reek Daddy "High Powered Funk"
Reek Daddy "Nicotine Funk"
I pointed out in one of my first posts that no one has told a brand-name-alias crime story (like "187 Proof" or "Cereal Killer") about cigarettes. I was wrong! Reek Daddy did this shit 8 years ago. "High Powered Funk", on the other hand, is just incredibly hardbody shit. You don't need friends when you have two Mac 10s. I never knew that "intersection" rhymes with "Smith and Wesson" so well.
Mitchy Slick "Bangin Ain't Nothin New"
Mitchy Slick "Hoe Cake"
San Diego's finest is back! I'm a little disappointed that he raps about fake pimps on "Hoe Cake" but neglects to mention El Cajon Boulevard. He does mention the Fam Mart, which has recently moved way closer to where I live (in Rolando, for all you San Diegans). I was there recently and almost got a children's size Spongebob rhinestone shirt. But then I didn't.