A New Low? Or Did Someone Just Raise The Bar?

Go Go Power Ranger Boyz "Go Dumb in Safeway"

Part of me wants to think that this is just a joke, but deep down I know that's not the case. They don't only go dumb at Safeway, they also go dumb at Wal-Mart, Pak'N'Save, Albertson's, and Lucky's (which I thought was bought out by Albertson's years back). Maybe they go so dumb that they bring Lucky's back into existence. Who knows.

I don't even know if it's fair to hold this up to the same standards you might hold a real song up to. There's really only one verse; the second verse sounds more like some nervous white dude doing "Bust a Move" on karaoke than anything that resembles rap.

Because that song is bad enough to ruin your day, allow me to kick you down a song or two that just might make your day:

Reek Daddy "High Powered Funk"

Reek Daddy "Nicotine Funk"

I pointed out in one of my first posts that no one has told a brand-name-alias crime story (like "187 Proof" or "Cereal Killer") about cigarettes. I was wrong! Reek Daddy did this shit 8 years ago. "High Powered Funk", on the other hand, is just incredibly hardbody shit. You don't need friends when you have two Mac 10s. I never knew that "intersection" rhymes with "Smith and Wesson" so well.

Mitchy Slick "Bangin Ain't Nothin New"

Mitchy Slick "Hoe Cake"

San Diego's finest is back! I'm a little disappointed that he raps about fake pimps on "Hoe Cake" but neglects to mention El Cajon Boulevard. He does mention the Fam Mart, which has recently moved way closer to where I live (in Rolando, for all you San Diegans). I was there recently and almost got a children's size Spongebob rhinestone shirt. But then I didn't.

Serbs vs. Albanians...Rap Beef?

In case you don't follow the news, Kosovo - a primarily Albanian province of Serbia - has finally declared independence from Serbia. What you may not know is that there is a hilarious/sad rap beef going on between an Albanian-American rapper, Gem Belushi, and a couple Serbian-Canadian rappers, Crood and Sizzerb (who are apparently Dipset affiliated). I have long been a fan of this bizarrely entertaining funk, but it never really struck me as relevant until now.



This is Gem Belushi's Crood diss, "Sir No Serr". There are so many highlights to this video, I could probably write a novel about it. Where do you start? The Albanians' use of the n-word, the rocket launcher in the bathroom, and of course the guy - probably fresh off a boat from Tirana - who asks "what happen your president sunnumabitch?" To answer his question, I'm pretty sure Slobodan died in prison at The Hague, during his trial.

Now, to say the least, it's odd to see rappers bicker over obscure points in European history, like exactly what happened in 1389, or why Mother Theresa (ethnically Albanian) did not live in Albania. Listen to Crood and Sizzerb's song.



You hate to admit it, but these Canadian Serbs are technically better rappers than Gem Belushi. But you gotta take Gem's side on this beef. His underdog status and his persistence make him much more likable; by contrast Crood and Sizzerb seem like a couple of arrogant pricks, willing to defend a horrific genocide in their raps. Plus, they're Canadian. Gem Belushi breaks it down:



TA-DOW! Basically what I'm trying to say here is FREE GO-SOVO!!!

The Cool Kids + Starski?

If I were to tell you that a Bay Area artist had recently collaborated with The Cool Kids, who would you think I was talking about? The Pack? Team Knoc? The Champions? The Diligentz? Kobe Soz? Gavin Newsom? Frank Chu? Anyone but Starski? Who the hell is this guy?

Starski, The Cool Kids "Stunnas On (Remix)"

What I've gathered from his Myspace is that he is white; he is from San Francisco (doubtful); and, he is the self-proclaimed "King of Drunk Dialing". Cool, I think I know a couple Facebook groups for fat, orangeskinned bitches who do the same.

So, okay, this partnership seems unlikely. This guy is basically a real life Saul Cohen or better yet, another Kobe Soz, but maybe a little older. The Cool Kids are, well, cool.

Apparently Starski didn't notice that they already made fun of dudes like him on this song:

The Cool Kids "A Little Bit Cooler"

On the hook, dudes who simply misunderstand Mikey's style ask him a series of questions (kinda like that one part of your Passover Seder).

Why your jeans ain't saggin?
I'm cooler than that guy
You ain't smokin on the dro, cuz?
I'm cooler than that guy
Where your stunner shades at dog?
I'm cooler than that guy

So, on the one hand, Starski looks like a dipshit for doing a song with dudes who seem to think dudes like him are uncool. On the other hand, The Cool Kids did a song with a dude who they probably think sucks. Lame on all sides. You probably won't be able to listen to this more than like, five times.

The only redeeming part of this song (well, I guess The Cool Kids verse is pretty good) is when Starski refers to Chicago as "The 'Go". Well played, Starski. Well played.

I have called San Diego "San Die-GO" for years (maybe one years). Had I called it "The 'Go", maybe it would've caught on? Who knows.

Can I get this one started: Barack GO-bama? Dude goes harder than Pillary Clinton, and we all know that.

Tremendo!

Alright, fuck it. I've got some tracks backed up, and I just need to get these out here.

Too Short "I Wanna Pimp You Hoe"

It's not clear, but it seems that Todd could be dissing Snoop on this track. Then again, who cares? No one.

E-40, Lil Jon "Turf Drop"

OMG! I'm so pumped on this song that I'm literally turfing right now while I'm typing this. It's hard to type, but, shit, I simply can't stop turfing. Everyone I know turfs. I have this shirt that says "Eat, Sleep, Turf Dance. The rest is just details". Thank god E-40 made this song, because I always felt like turf dancing was such an under appreciated art form. The best thing that might come out of this song's creation could be that maybe frat boys from UCSD can be "hitting the drop" soon.

Actually, that sounds pretty great. Where's the video?

Oh yeah, and Turfapino, where you at? Are you turfing under a different name? Is Giggdestrian still at it? Please come back. I mean it.

Shigady "Crank Dat Thizzle Dance"

There's something to be said for "mash-ups" where people find two apparently unrelated songs and make something new by combining them. This doesn't work for taking two already-existing rap songs about dances. You sound like a loser. I wouldn't recommend anyone download this.

Spice 1 "Carried By Six"

This has been making the rounds. It's Spice 1's first song since the shooting. He explains in some serious detail the shit he's gone through. Glad to hear Spice 1's back at it, and healthy again. I will say that it's always an awkward position for rappers to be in to survive a shooting without shooting anyone in retaliation. The gist of the song is that, except for this one instance, Spice 1 totally always usually has his gun on him, so, you know, he'll kill you.

He claims that it was someone trying to steal his Alpine. Srsly?

Haji Springer "The Indian Rapper (Remix)"

If only one version of "The Indian Rapper" wasn't enough for Haji, then it wasn't enough for any of us. And, as if one gimmick wasn't enough for the man, Haji uses a vocoder on this version. Also, it's off of a mixtape - hosted by Haji - called The Hippie Movement. Curious as I am, I actually do not want to find out what the hell Haji means by it. My guess is that it just involves wearing tie-dye stuff, which I've noticed getting popular among the "urban" crowd.

Stuey Squad "Super Ripped"

This is a piece of incredibly simple, stupid, hyphy crap that is actually surprisingly entertaining.

The MAC "The Game is Thick"

The song that became the title of Mac Dre's last release before he was killed. It's some funny, old school shit from Vallejo that's definitely worth adding to your collection. Gotta say I like Mac Dre better, but this is the guy that started it all, right?

Alright, seven tracks is enough for now. I also have some new C-Fresh (and old C-Fresh!) as well as a Cool Kids collabo with a Bay Area rapper. You're gonna be surprised. Also, some new Yukmouth (natch!). Oh yeah, and some new Jacka. Stay tuned.

PS - This is important shit. Yay Mecca is no more, but The Mac Named Jay moved over to The Animal Planet. Update your links accordingly.

Young Juiceman, GodDAMNIT I'm The Shit!

Wow, I almost forgot my blogger password! But I'm back to tell you about the Next Big Thing in rap. His name is OJ Da Juiceman, and he is just fucking awesome.

I was gonna write a post about the influence of Bay Area rap on Gucci Mane's recent work, but since Pilly already let you know about the dude, I'll just offer you the proof and move on.

PROOF THAT GUCCI IS TOTALLY INTO BAY AREA RAP:

Gucci Mane ft. Game- I Might Be

Figure it out. Anyway I've been listening to this song by Gucci a lot recently:

Gucci Mane ft. OJ Da Juiceman- Vette Pass By

It's not the most amazing song (I mean Gucci's not in top form) but the guest verse at the end just kills me every time. Sometimes I just fast forward right to it. Then rewind and listen to it a few times in a row. I came to find out, through some research, that the rapper is a young man by the name of OJ Da Juiceman. He's in Gucci's So Icey Boys/Gang/whatever. Here's his myspace. Look at that picture! THOSE PANTS! Do yourself a favor and listen to "BUTTNIKS" immediately. Then do me a favor and find an mp3 of it. And post it in the comments.

Why does he do that with his voice? I mean, does it naturally sound like that? Also, he has the best adlibs I've heard in a while.

MORE YOUNG JUICEMAN:

OJ Da Juiceman ft. Gucci- Goodnight

Gucci ft. OJ Da Juiceman + Yola The Great- So Icey (Just Re'd Up)

So tyt.

I'll be playing these songs, and so much more, on my radio show this semester. It's Saturdays 8-10PM EST. You can listen by going to www.wbar.org, it streams on iTunes. It's called "Denkistry Ridiculous." The name is Pilly's brilliant idea, and it's a semi-reference to this song. As Pilly will helpfully point out, Gucci actually says "dentiskry ridiculous," and he is correct as always, but my dude Andrew and I like it the other way. So hopefully Pilly will be okay with that.

In other news, you may have heard of a certain band called Vampire Weekend, subject of recent blog hype/backlash shitstorm and receiver of positive reviews from all the Respectable Publications. They all went to Columbia, and the bass player is totally my dude. So I'm gonna hype them up too. They rock. I mean, if you listen to Music That Isn't Rap, you might like them. Here's a video they made:



The Hood Internet knows what's good. They made a "mash-up" of the song with some Styles P jam, and it go:

Vampire Weekend vs. Styles P

Uh, I uploaded that off a cd, so it might not work? If it doesn't, just go to their site and download it, you lazy assholes.

So to sum up, OJ Da Juiceman is the most exciting thing happening in Rap these days, I know famous musicians, and everyone should listen to my radio show. And, I promise to post more often. New Peedi coming soon...

Hold That Thought

This is pretty much the only song I really want to listen to anymore.

Gucci Mane "Hold That Thought"

Naturally a loner, but love my kid/
mix the soda with the cola, I can buy me a friend (wanna be my friend?)"

Being friends with Gucci Mane? And getting paid to do it? That's called a win-win situation. Imagine that on your resume.

Gucci Mane's Friend Atlanta, GA (January 2008 - Present)
-Fluent in Chicken talk
-Collaborated with Gucci Mane to turn powdered cocaine into crack-cocaine
-Responsibilities include: handling of Gucci Mane's weed, Bart Simpson chain, ecstasy pills, etc

Ah, whatever, you get the point.

The Hood Internet also fucks with Gucci Mane. They put together a pretty wonderful indie dance mix of "Freaky Gurl".

Gucci Mane vs. Fujiya & Miyaga "Cassettesingurl"

So, if you're trying to listen to Gucci, but you find yourself surrounded by non-rap-listening hipsters, you can compromise. The Hood Internet is good for that. Not only that, but their name is a brilliant Dipset reference. If you don't get it, just watch the first five minutes of Killa Season. That should clear everything up for you.