Some Muh-futtin Rap Songs

This man will turn your face into $50,000

The Boy Boy Young Mess "Don't You Think I'm Handsome?"

If you haven't listened to the Bay Area's best-named mixtape this year, Prices on My Head, Thug Money on Ya Family Vol 1 yet, you should reconsider. I always assume Messy is gonna come washed-up, considering all the shit he's put himself through these last few years, but he's always fucking great to listen to. He hasn't changed a goddam thing since Disobayish, and I mean that in a good way. I wonder if he even writes new rhymes anymore.

This one samples Gucci Mane's lyrics from "Freaky Girl" on the hook, and in true Bay Area mixtape hustling fashion, Mess credits Gucci Mane with a feature. Ha! I thought Cellski was the last one to get away with that move. Though, last time I was in SF, at Rasputin's, I think I remember that PoMH,TMoYF was the top seller. It's kinda beautiful that Bay Area rappers can intentionally hustle their listeners and still have a loyal following.

The Boy Boy Young Mess "My Charm, My Chain"

Many rappers have claimed that women only have sex with them for their material wealth, and have even gone as far as to say that women are actually, in a sense, having sex with inanimate objects when they have sex with said rapper (see "Fuck My Car" by Too Short, or "Fuck My Car" by UGK for examples of this phenomenon). Messy goes as far as to say that women actually call his phone asking to speak with his chain on this track. Also, he claims that some women forget to put a condom on his chain when they have sex with it. This is troublesome in a few regards. Is he talking about himself? Is he talking about the chain? Sounds like he's in a messy situation - so to speak! - either way. No matter your interpretation, Messy manages to make it OK to refer to his jewelry as a "charm", which you really have to respect.

New Boyz "Colors"

This song is fun, but at the same time, it says so much about the downfall of hip-hop as an artform (am I getting old?) that it has to kinda make you sad. It's not a cover of Ice-T's "Colors", but they reference it heavily in the hook. However, instead of making a song about the horrors of gang warfare in Los Angeles, the New Boyz rap about how they wear a whole lot of different colors - colors they claim aren't even in the visible spectrum - when they dance in their cul-de-sac. Ice-T's rap career is spinning in its grave, I'm certain.

Philthy Rich "Funk or Die"

This, I assume is the eponymous track off of Philthy's newest album. "Funk or Die", to me, seems a bit confused. Doesn't funk lead to death? Still, Philthy Rich, keeps it really gully here, and his album sounds like it's shaping up to be pretty good.

Roach Gigz "Watch Me Gas (Remastered)"

Roach emailed me a little while back to have me take down the older version of "Watch Me Gas" I had posted. He said it was hella poorly mastered and he had a new version with some new lyrics, and better mixing. He was kind enough to hook it up here.

Mistah FAB "2010 Til Infinity"

Mistah FAB really is better at being a backpack rapper. Why didn't he make this song in 2003 (or wait until 2010?)? Was he too busy trying to bridge the unbridgeable gap between backpack rap and Hyphy? Whoops!