Bummer, Dude

For those of you who don't give two shits about skateboarding, this might still be of interest to you, but it requires some background info. Jereme Rogers was a promising young skateboarder from Boston who got picked up by the Girl/Chocolate family, and eventually landed on Plan B. But that's sort of irrelevant to the story; what's important to know is that he is very talented at skateboarding. I remember hearing stories where people would say they saw Jereme (pronounced Jeremy) at 3rd and Army and he just didn't miss any tricks. He could do whatever he wanted to on a skateboard at, say, 16 years old. He was incredible to watch in person, apparently.

Fast forward to maybe a year ago, and Jereme Rogers decided he wanted to quit skateboarding to become - you guessed it! - a rapper. Just as his career was taking off, he quit.

Now, ever since Deion Sanders, it hasn't been all that shocking when athletes use their fame to launch ill-advised rap careers. Thing is, these athletes are usually black, more famous, and don't quit playing the sport they're so talented at in the first place. We can understand it; it's like watching Rock'N'Jock baseball, but in reverse. You get so rich and powerful, and childhood fantasies can be made reality. The barriers to entry in rap music are so much lower - SO MUCH LOWER! - than in professional sports that this almost worked out for some people (Shaq, Ron Artest, and of course Jerry Rice and Roger Craig).

But here we have Jereme Rogers, a white skater from Boston who is just god-awful at rapping, and so good at skateboarding. His biggest misstep in this video - aside from the face tats - is showcasing his skateboarding alongside his rap. There is a real disconnect there. When footage of you doing a switch crooks, followed by a switch bluntslide down a large hubba are accompanied by such shitty lyrics - "rookie of the year, that's a Rogers fact/ usually top three, you can roger that" - you should know where your energy might be better focused. Did Deion Sanders show a bunch of clips of interceptions, and full-extension diving fly-ball grabs in the video for "Must Be The Money"? No, he shows off his collection of hideous three=piece suits, which he is loath to ever wear more than two pieces of at any given time (seven-button vest with no shirt? Had the whole world gone mad in 1993?).

Jereme Rogers wants so badly to be Lil Wayne - the mannerisms he borrows from Wayne come off as a bit effeminate on him, no? - but knows that it's a sham. He knows it's painful to watch a heroin-skinny white dude with face tats try to be something that he is not. That's why he relies on the skateboarding in the video. He needs a kick in the ass, and he needs to get back on his skateboard, because this is a mess.

Below, find a Jereme Rogers diss song/video that was emailed to me, and made me aware of this whole fiasco.